Stranger: hi asl
You: hi rather not
Stranger: u m or f
You: both
Stranger: bf n gf yh ????????
You: uhh..... sure
Stranger: r u gunna fuck
You: fuck what?
Stranger: each other
You: uhh by both i meant im a hermaphrodite
You: not 2 seperate people
Stranger: oh kool
You: yep.
Stranger: so u got cock or cunt
You: both
Stranger: u eva fuck ursel
Stranger: urself
You: ive tried
Stranger: worked
You: nope.
Stranger: hw old r u
You: 17
Stranger: where u frm
Stranger: ill fuck u if ur close to me
You: england
Stranger: south north or wt
You: south
Stranger: im from southampton
You: how lovely for you.
Stranger: where u from
You: titsbury
Stranger: where tht
You: down your mums top.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: HI
Stranger: we are not friends anymore!
Stranger: I can't forgive you this time!
You: O NO... WHAT HAVE I DONE????
Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!
You: umm....
Stranger: last friday! ring any bells???
You: NOOOOOOOOOOO... I DIDNT MEAN IT
Stranger: that;s what you said last time! and then you did it again!
Stranger: how could you? You know how I feel about Mr. Sprinkles
You: Mr Sprinkles? No you are mistaken?
Stranger: I am not mistaken, I know what I saw
You: Ew you saw it???
Stranger: Honey, the whole town saw it
Stranger: your brother taped it and forwarded it to everyone
You: Dude that wasn't my brother...
Stranger: then..then who was it?
You: You know exactly who it was...
Stranger: ... the janitor?
You: nope...
Stranger: the homeless guy who lives outside of walmart?
You: no... it was your mother...
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: why was my mother there?!
Stranger: What did you do to her, you pervert?
You: EW... she was the one taping it...
Stranger: you let her tape it?!
Stranger: god! everyone is against me! noooooo
You: actually she was hiding in the bushes...
Stranger: then how do you know it was her and not the homeless man? They look an awful lot alike, you know!
You: thats not very nice to your mother now is it???
You: or the homeless guy actually...
Stranger: the homeless guy.. definitely
Stranger: you were the one doing obscene things in public! you have no moral high ground here
You: Obscene!? Whats Obscene about feeding ducks ???
Stranger: YOU WEREN'T WEARING ANY GLOVES!!
You: Thats coz the bread felt really good...
Stranger: HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHA
Stranger: that really made me lol
Stranger: nice job

This is a conversationI had with someone interested in *cyber roleplay.* Pretty
normal for this website, but there's a catch...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: looking for horny Female to roleplay cyber
You: HOW LOVELY FOR YOU
Stranger: asl?
You: 17/F/USA
Stranger: 17/M/Poland
Stranger: how about a roleplay in which we're sibling?
You: EW
You: SERIOUSLY?
Stranger: why not? ;>
You: YOU'D ENJOY SHAGGING YOU'RE OWN SISTER? (HYPOTHETICALLY)
Stranger: step one :)
Stranger: not real ones
Stranger: let's say our parents met and we're step-sister and bro
Stranger: I'm sporty, dark brown hair
You: fun....
Stranger: we're lone home
Stranger: I'm reading a book in my room, with slightly open door, so you can peek inside
Stranger: dressed only in boxers
Stranger: laying on the bed face down
You: i thought you were reading a book?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: reading a book layiing on stomach
Stranger: you know
You: how can you be face down and reading a book at the same time?
Stranger: well used a bad word
Stranger: you know what i mean
Stranger: laying on stomach, resting head on hands and book laying open on bed
Stranger: and reading it
You: what book is it?
Stranger: let's say something entertaining
Stranger: but intelligent
Stranger: like Pratchett
Stranger: so?
You: i don't really like pratchett...
Stranger: will you come in or sneak inside or anything_
Stranger: _
Stranger: ?
You: well... i'd walk in and punch you for being a incestual perv...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*****************************************************************************************

You: I'm an old man here. Quite sweaty too.
Stranger: how might i help you sir
You: Get a nice soapy sponge, and give me a good rubbing down.
Stranger: sir i cant do that
You: Why? :(
Stranger: because i dont want to
You: But i am unable to reach every part of my body!
You: I have nobody to help me!
Stranger: well sir i can give you a back brush
You: Not good enough. I shall look elsewhere for better service. Goodbye!

*****************************************************************************************

You: Try twisting the banana peel in a circular motion around the penis
Stranger: WHAT'S THE OUTCOME?
You: EXCELLENT FUNTIMES
Stranger: BUT BANANAS HAVE GERMS
You: SO DOES YOUR MUM
Stranger: WHAT IF U DON'T HAVE A PENIS?
You: THEN YOU BUY ONE
Stranger: HOW AVAILABLE IS THAT?
You: VERY.
Stranger: EVEN IN THE COUNTRYSIDE?
You: THEY COST FROM ROUND $1,200
You: YES
Stranger: CAN I ORDER VIA INTERNET?
You: NO, YOU HAVE TO GO TO A CHURCH, ASK THE PRIEST IF YOU CAN BUY A PENIS.
You: HE WILL FIT YOU WITH ONE FROM A DECEASED HUMAN BEING.
Stranger: ISN'T THAT AGAINS THE NATURE?
You: NO, NOT THESE DAYS
Stranger: WHAT ABOUT DOGS'?
You: NOBODY WANTS A DOG'S PENIS
You: TOO SMALL
Stranger: OK, DUCKS'?
You: NO, NOT WORTH THE HASSLE
Stranger: OH FINE, THE LAST AND UNPLEASANT APPEAL: DONKEYS?
You: YES, DEFINITELY. ALSO, YOU MAY WISH TO BUY A FAKE ONE: http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/comersus_viewItem.asp?idProduct=1072
Stranger: I STICK TO THE NATURE

*****************************************************************************************

Stranger: hi
You: HORNEH?
Stranger: asl
You: HORNY. HORNY AND HORNY

*****************************************************************************************

Stranger: hi
You: BOH YES.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok
You: It's me!
You: Cheryl!
Stranger: hi cheryl
Stranger: long time
You: I knooow, i ant seen yew in like aaages!
Stranger: I know. wat have you been up 2?
You: I've been singing, i been dumping my husband and dating a blacker guy!
Stranger: ok. and howz that going?
You: It's gooen amaaazin' thank yew!
Stranger: miss your husband or the black dude is doing the trick
You: hows et gooin for yew then?
You: my new boyfriend is Will.I.am, so yeh he's doing me greeat!
Stranger: I'm good. Work is good. but it could be better
You: Awh, im sure itll get better for yas later
Stranger: It will.
Stranger: so whoz this will-I -am character?
Stranger: bep?
You: Well, after dumping Ashley (he cheated on me), i got a bit friendleh with Will! I worked with him for one of mah singles! He's a great lad, and a greeat lova!!
Stranger: sweet! and what's your single?
You: it's called Heartbreaker!
Stranger: Mariah carey
Stranger: sing that
You: Ooh i donn't know yet...
Stranger: how old are you
Stranger: I can tell your from the uk.
Stranger: I doesn't matter tho.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*****************************************************************************************

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
You: HEYA BABES#
Stranger: asl? :))
You: 68. MAN. YOUR MOTHER
You: YOU LIKEY?
You: BUTSEKS????
Stranger: I do :))
You: ASL?
Stranger: 16 f usa :)
You: THAT'S QUITE WORRYING CONSIDERING I AM AN OLD MAN
Stranger: I like older men :)))
You: I LOVE YOUNG GIRLS
Stranger: Thats good :))

*****************************************************************************************

So this is my favourite conversation at the moment, it's very long but worth it! I ran into a perv on Omegle so decided to make the most out of his strangeness...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: FEMALE 15 ENGLAND
You: YOU?
Stranger: 18 m aussie
Stranger: im jenson
Stranger: and u ?
You: IM YOUR MUMS HAIRY MINGE
Stranger: okay
Stranger: so wat brings u to omegle ?
You: I HAVE NO FRIENDS
Stranger: i can b one
Stranger: can v be frnds?
You: IF IT INVOLVES SEX THEN YES
Stranger: so fast ?
You: YES
You: IM GAGGING FOR IT
Stranger: so ur hungary for satisfaction
Stranger: i'd luv to satisfy u baby
You: First of all, i am not a small European country, second, learn to spell, third omg what is wrong with you, you're eighteen and on omegle saying "i'd luv to satisfy u baby" to a fifteen year old? Thats sick, seek mental help. Even better, buy a gun, blow your brains out. Go back to World of Warcraft. Faggot.
Stranger: hey chill
Stranger: u only said that ur desperate for sex
You: You called me a small european country, that doesn't mean i am one.
Stranger: i didnt say anything like this miss
You: "so ur HUNGARY for satisfaction" google it, also google paedophile...then IQ test.
You: You'll be lucky to get more than six on that last one.
Stranger: i meant hungry
Stranger: cant v chat normally ?
You: Hmm, yes, I'm sure your friends would be really impressed to find out you want to give 15 year olds satisfaction. That's if you have any, which I doubt you do.
Stranger: take a chill
Stranger: wats the big deal abt it ?
Stranger: everyone does sex
Stranger: v r born bcoz of sex
Stranger: wats the reason to be ashamed abt it ?
Stranger: y r u getting so hyper abt it ?
You: Be that as it is, not many people desire sex with underage girls, last time i checked Australia is nowhere near Texas.
You: Oh and also, because its illegal.
Stranger: no one cares
Stranger: all these things happen
You: I'm sure the guys in prison would care when they're beating the shit out of you and probably fucking you in the ass. They don't tend to like baby fuckers.
Stranger: hey plz chill
Stranger: can v chat normally plz ?
You: No, i want you to stab yourself in the heart. Then i'll consider it.
Stranger: plz do it
You: Do what, you? In your dreams you sick fuck.
Stranger: go to hell u small bitch
You: No, you go to hell with your small cock. That would only "satisfy" underage children.
Stranger: its a big one
Stranger: 8inch
Stranger: it wont fit in yor ass
You: Aww you poor thing, isn't that a shame for you? That you can't fit it into children's assholes. You must be pissed.
Stranger: my dick is so big that yor ass cant take it
You: Yeah that's why you're getting so pissed off. Calm down paedo.
Stranger: if u go on bed with me, il insert it forcibly
Stranger: then u'll bleed n moan
You: Lush. You sure know how to sweet talk a girl into bed.
Stranger: so r u interested sweetie ?
You: Sure, what's your address?
Stranger: melbourne aussie
You: Oh I think I have an aunt that lives there.
You: I usually go up in the olidays.
You: holidays, even.
Stranger: lets meet and hav fun
Stranger: many exotic beaches here
You: I'd quite like sex on the beach.
Stranger: sex on beach at nite........wat say ?
You: Sounds nice.
You: No one to hear me scream. Because I'm only 15.
Stranger: u wudnt need to scream
You:
Umm, I think I might seeing as you'd technically be raping me. Or maybe not because your cock is so small, either way.
Stranger: dont u wana get down with me..... y wud i rape u ?
You: Because having sex with someone underage is always rape.
Stranger: cant v stop getting into arguments ?
Stranger: u wana join me at yahoo ?
Stranger: i can show my pic to u
You: I'm alright thanks, I'm not really into nerds with small penises.
Stranger: my penis is damn 8 inch
Stranger: a normal size is 6-7 inch
Stranger: those who say its 11 or so are liars
Stranger: rarely men hav 11+ penis
You: Yes but lets be honest, if you really are 18 with an 8 inch penis then you wouldn't be sat on omegle chatting to little girls, you'd be out with your mates or having sex. Unless you're really ugly.
Stranger: im not really here for sex
Stranger: jus came to chat casually
You: .......So you are ugly then.
Stranger: y dont u see my pic
You: I'm quite happy with my eyesight how it is thanks.
Stranger: show ur pic..........r u too beautiful ?
Stranger: wat hapnd now ?
You: Go die.
Stranger: mail it
Stranger: *censored*@gmail.com
You: Naked?
Stranger: no a normal pic
You: But I though you were a child predator?
You: Thought
Stranger: can u stop it now ?
Stranger: im online at yahoo
Stranger: cm join me lets chat der
You: What, so we can have wild sexy times over the internet?
Stranger: wat do u mean ?
You: Well whatever it is you sad people do seeing as you're too ugly or fat to go outside and meet real people.
Stranger: plz join me at yahoo
Stranger: lets chat der
Stranger: *censored*@yahoo.com
Stranger: u cuming ?
You: No thanks, I'm 15.
Stranger: hey plz wana chat normally
Stranger: plz cum
You: I don't really want to cum for you to be honest.
Stranger: plzz cumon
You: I DON'T WANT TO CUM ON YOU YOU SICKO
Stranger: im waitinf for u
You: Stop trying to make me do things I don't want to do, you're scaring me.
You: Don't make me call the police, you told me where you live and they don't like paedos.
Stranger: u've chatted so long with me.........
Stranger: u must hav found sumthin interesting
Stranger: so y dont u cum plz
You: It's quite amusing speaking to you yes, paedos are like a lower life form, like slugs or cacti.
Stranger: watever u say........cum on yahoo
You: Don't talk to me about your yahoo, I don't wanna know what your name for it is.
Stranger: trust me for once.......lets chat on yahoo
Stranger: and ur welcum to talk the same negative stuff abt me der
You: No thanks.
Stranger: plz plz plz
Stranger: hav sum mercy
You: What for, your pitifully sized cashew penis?
Stranger: even if its small, wich it is not..............it wud be okay for u as ur jus 15
You: So in other words it's small then.
Stranger: no it is not small
You: Ok then. Small penis.
Stranger: plz cum
Stranger: y u being so stubborn ?
You: Because I don't want to have sex with you.
You: Do you even know what a paedophile is?
Stranger: i wana see u
Stranger: is that possible
Stranger: u can show yor pic thru chat window itself
You: Why, do you want to wank over it?
Stranger: yes
You: Eww
Stranger: im feeling horny
Stranger: plz cum fast
You: Fuck off will you
You: You do realise you're a kiddy fiddler?
Stranger: ok i am
You: Don't you think that's sick?
You: That you want to have sex with children who can't fight back?
Stranger: i kno its bad but cant help it
You: Oh whatever, just because you can't get with someone your own age.
Stranger: join me at yahoo
Stranger: can u plzzzzzzz ?
You: Why?
Stranger: its great chattin der
Stranger: also wana show my pic
Stranger: also wana see ur pic
You: Right, well I'm going now. Hope you get caught.
Stranger: do u watch porn ?
You: Just so you know, all of these conversations are saved and read by the makers of this website. So you probably will get caught.
Stranger: watch porn ?
You: Just fuck off and get a life.
You have disconnected.

*****************************************************************************************
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hii...
Stranger: gay?
You: nope...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*****************************************************************************************

Emma 26 May at 19:52
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEy
You: hii
You: OMG
Stranger: YES?
You: I JUST SAW SOMETHING...
Stranger: OMG OMG OMG
Stranger: WHAT?
You: SOMETHING SCARY...
Stranger: OMG OMG OMG HOW SCARY
You: LIKE AS SCARY AS IF A SPIDER AND A SNAKE JUMPED ON YOUR FACE AT THE SAME TIME
You: IN THE DARK!!!!1
Stranger: Sounds like a loooooooooooooooooong story
You: no no no... I JUST SAW IT...
You: ITS A THING BUT I CANT QUITE MAKE IT OUT
Stranger: turn the light on?
You: I THINK ITS...
You: I THINK
You: ITS YOUR MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Stranger: didnt see that coming :/
You: lol im jk,,,
You: i like to annoy people...
You: my friend normally comes on here pretending to be an old man... who very sweaty...

*****************************************************************************************

Emma 08 June at 19:10
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you older than 30?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: 40
Stranger: why
You: I like old people
Stranger: me tooo :))))
Stranger: how old r u'
You: 18
You: but I still like old people ;)
Stranger: i like young pussy :)))
You: ew
You: I prefer dogs
You: much more loyal..
You: :)
Stranger: i think we should date ;D
You: where are you from?
Stranger: florida
You: whereabouts?
Stranger: Ocala
You: No way
Stranger: yes way!
Stranger: where you from?
Stranger: ?
You: Gainseville
You: ;)
Stranger: in florida
Stranger: ?
You: http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&q=Florida+Map&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq&hnear=Florida%2C+USA&gl=uk&ei=JoQOTKCKJsKN4gb2kYDLDA&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ8gEwAA
You: Map
Stranger: holy ballsack we are close
You: yeah... I know ;)
Stranger: WE SHOULD MEET UP SOMEWHERE
You: ok...
You: except...
You: are you really 40?
Stranger: NO MORE LIKE 39
You: ok... but have you got a picture or something... ;)
Stranger: one second
Stranger: http://www.facebook.com/CENSORED
Stranger: HELLO
You: hii
Stranger: look at me? :))
You: is that your kid?
Stranger: no my sisters
You have disconnected.

*****************************************************************************************

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: OMG LOOK BEHIND YOU
Stranger: asl?
You: OMG OMG OMG CAN YOU NOT SEE IT????
Stranger: yes
Stranger: its a wall
You: HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE???
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*****************************************************************************************

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: PENIS
Stranger: Hola
Stranger: Me gusta mucho
You: PENIS
Stranger: Tu eres un nino
You: PENIS
Stranger: Yo tambien senor
You: PENIS
Stranger: Te gusta la pepino?
You: PENIS
Stranger: Sii muy bien
You: PENIS
Stranger: Tu eres loco
You: PENIS
Stranger: Pone el pepino en mi china
You: PENIS
Stranger: Sii te gusta PENIS?
You: PENIS
You: PENIS
Stranger: Adios senor
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
*****************************************************************************************