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You: I'm an old man here. Quite sweaty too. Stranger: how might i help you sir You: Get a nice soapy sponge, and give me a good rubbing down. Stranger: sir i cant do that You: Why? :( Stranger: because i dont want to You: But i am unable to reach every part of my body! You: I have nobody to help me! Stranger: well sir i can give you a back brush You: Not good enough. I shall look elsewhere for better service. Goodbye! ***************************************************************************************** You: Try twisting the banana peel in a circular motion around the penis Stranger: WHAT'S THE OUTCOME? You: EXCELLENT FUNTIMES Stranger: BUT BANANAS HAVE GERMS You: SO DOES YOUR MUM Stranger: WHAT IF U DON'T HAVE A PENIS? You: THEN YOU BUY ONE Stranger: HOW AVAILABLE IS THAT? You: VERY. Stranger: EVEN IN THE COUNTRYSIDE? You: THEY COST FROM ROUND $1,200 You: YES Stranger: CAN I ORDER VIA INTERNET? You: NO, YOU HAVE TO GO TO A CHURCH, ASK THE PRIEST IF YOU CAN BUY A PENIS. You: HE WILL FIT YOU WITH ONE FROM A DECEASED HUMAN BEING. Stranger: ISN'T THAT AGAINS THE NATURE? You: NO, NOT THESE DAYS Stranger: WHAT ABOUT DOGS'? You: NOBODY WANTS A DOG'S PENIS You: TOO SMALL Stranger: OK, DUCKS'? You: NO, NOT WORTH THE HASSLE Stranger: OH FINE, THE LAST AND UNPLEASANT APPEAL: DONKEYS? You: YES, DEFINITELY. ALSO, YOU MAY WISH TO BUY A FAKE ONE: http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/comersus_viewItem.asp?idProduct=1072 Stranger: I STICK TO THE NATURE ***************************************************************************************** Stranger: hi You: HORNEH? Stranger: asl You: HORNY. HORNY AND HORNY ***************************************************************************************** Stranger: hi You: BOH YES. Stranger: lol Stranger: ok You: It's me! You: Cheryl! Stranger: hi cheryl Stranger: long time You: I knooow, i ant seen yew in like aaages! Stranger: I know. wat have you been up 2? You: I've been singing, i been dumping my husband and dating a blacker guy! Stranger: ok. and howz that going? You: It's gooen amaaazin' thank yew! Stranger: miss your husband or the black dude is doing the trick You: hows et gooin for yew then? You: my new boyfriend is Will.I.am, so yeh he's doing me greeat! Stranger: I'm good. Work is good. but it could be better You: Awh, im sure itll get better for yas later Stranger: It will. Stranger: so whoz this will-I -am character? Stranger: bep? You: Well, after dumping Ashley (he cheated on me), i got a bit friendleh with Will! I worked with him for one of mah singles! He's a great lad, and a greeat lova!! Stranger: sweet! and what's your single? You: it's called Heartbreaker! Stranger: Mariah carey Stranger: sing that You: Ooh i donn't know yet... Stranger: how old are you Stranger: I can tell your from the uk. Stranger: I doesn't matter tho. Your conversational partner has disconnected. ***************************************************************************************** You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hii You: HEYA BABES# Stranger: asl? :)) You: 68. MAN. YOUR MOTHER You: YOU LIKEY? You: BUTSEKS???? Stranger: I do :)) You: ASL? Stranger: 16 f usa :) You: THAT'S QUITE WORRYING CONSIDERING I AM AN OLD MAN Stranger: I like older men :))) You: I LOVE YOUNG GIRLS Stranger: Thats good :)) *****************************************************************************************
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